Fatherhood
 

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive
woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken
aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.

* How do you know policemen are strong?
* Because they can hold up traffic.

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Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

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Two atoms are talking:

* "Help, somebody has stolen one of my electrons!"
* "Are you sure?"
* "Yes, I'm positive!"


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* What did the moron do when he thought he might be dying?
* He went into the living room!


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* What do you call a fish with no eyes?
* Fsh.

My Son

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old
man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair
in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man stared.
The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time. When the
teenager had enough he sarcastically asked: "What's the matter old man,
never done anything wild in your life?"

The old man did not bat an eye in his response. He replied, "Got drunk once
and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."